A little about my prophetic journey.

 

The first thing that comes to mind when someone asks me to tell them about my prophetic journey is, ‘Not like the rest’.

 

I was born into a Christian family, so I grew up attending church and gave my life to Jesus very young. I would even ask the cashiers if they had Jesus in their hearts. As a child I was usually calm and quiet on the outside, well behaved, rarely had outbursts and never had a temper.

 

My inner world however was quite the opposite. I saw strange things especially at night and felt things too deep for me to understand let alone articulate. It would be years before I would learn about demons and angels and about spiritual reality. Dreams and visions came when I was in my teens. No one in the church we went to had similar experiences.

As I grew up, I found peace only in God’s Word. Books of the Bible gripped me that seemed strange to my peers. Job was one of my favourites, also Psalms, and Revelation were my top books I would read and reread.

 

It was when I was 13, alone in my room reading my Bible late at night when God spoke over me like He had never done before. It reminds me of Romans 4:17. He called things in me into being which did not exist as though they already did. There began my prophetic process.

 

God bestows our calling like a garment that’s too big for us and we must grow into it. 

 

It took me a very long time to be at peace with not being like other people or other prophets. As you go through life everyone will have an opinion on who you are, but they don’t have the final say. 

 

God has the first and final word over each and every one of us and I choose to hear His words and let them settle into me and push out every word that is contrary to His.

 

What is God saying now?

 

I felt to share this as I sense it will help many going through their own valleys. I recently went through what some would call compounded complex grief, the details of which are a testimony for another time. What I feel to share is that it’s taken me years to work through it. I spent some time with a therapist, which didn’t help me. Again, the normal thing wasn’t helpful for me.

 

What helped the most was being received and loved for who I was in a community with no expectations put on me to ‘do’; my only task was to ‘be’. This allowed me to breathe and let go so He could do the work, so I could receive the love of Christ through the body of Christ.

Though I felt useless and dead in the water, it forced me to let go of grasping and face the grief. You cannot process what you do not face and you can’t rush it.

 

Loss is a horror that confounds the heart because the heart is made to love. And, when the object of that love is suddenly taken away along with hopes and dreams you are left facing an emptiness that shouldn’t be. 

 

Through this God-appointed process I received Jesus in a whole new way.

 

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’

 

He took me back to the first commandment.

 

God needed to fill the space that was left when so much was taken from me so fast. Perhaps that is why I was drawn to the book of Job so early on. I praise God that through this I’ve learned His love deeper than before and He now fills the place of loss. I know now when loss happens or when I’m pruned, He’s making room for Him. To give God His rightful place is a daily choice and a process.

 

It brings to mind an old DC Talk song based off of an even older prayer by St. Richard of Chichester:

Day by day, day by day, 

O dear Lord, three things I pray: 

To see thee more clearly. 

Love thee more dearly, 

Follow thee more nearly,

Day by day.

 

So coming out of all this, God is speaking to me on the value in the stump. There is still life in the stump. Even though it may appear dead, there is life and activity under ground.

What He allows to be pruned He intends to bear fruit. 

 

What He cuts off no longer has a part in you.

 

New growth will come.

 

The cutting is not the end; it’s a new beginning with less weight and more of Him.